Serve, Coach, Lead Newsletter #9: Be Kind

My wife, Megan, is one of the kindest people that I have met. She truly cares for me, her family, and those entrusted in her care as an educator and as a coach. Megan holds the people around her to a high standard, and helps people achieve their best. She also is exceptionally empathetic, and easily understands how others are feeling.

Megan is a perfect example for people that coach or lead youth in any capacity. Unfortunately, today there are many leaders who have selfish motives for their involvement with youth. Many simply like to be called "coach" without fully understanding the responsibility that word comes with.

Here are three ways that Megan effectively makes a positive difference in the lives of those she leads (and three goals of any youth coach):

1. Be an impeccable role model

- Young people today need people in their lives that can show them how to live

responsibly, have good character, and be a contributing member of society.

- We never truly understand what a child's home life is like. We may just be the

mother or father that they wish they had.

2. Facilitate a passion for ________ (sport, physical activity, learning, math, social

studies, community service, etc.)

- It doesn't matter what our platform is. Whether we are a sports coach,

educator, volunteer, or in any other position where we work with youth, one of

our main goals is to foster a love for whatever we are doing.

- This only happens when we bring energy and excitement each and every day.

We all have moments when we aren't at our best. Bringing everything we have,

and giving those around us our full attention and focus will show them that we

care.

- The #1 statistic that youth coaches can base their success on: How many players

from this year's team sign up to play that sport again next year. If every player on your team enjoys their experience, learns the fundamentals of

the game, and wants to play again the following year, you have had a successful

season as a coach!

3. Be incredibly kind

- Many adults today believe that coaching involves yelling at, embarrassing, and

demeaning players who do not perform up to their standards. This may be how

some of us were treated by coaches in our younger days, therefore this is how we

model our coach-player interactions.

- While every coach has the right to develop their own philosophy, and everyone's

actions are a result of their past experiences, I encourage you to be a coach that is

kind.

- Speak to players with constructive feedback, and include positives to

encourage them. Point out things they do well along with ways they can improve.

- Do not gossip or speak badly about players. The words that you say have great

impact, whether you are speaking with other coaches, players, or parents. Your

players deserve your support and should be able to trust you.

- I can not overemphasize the power of your language (both verbal and body

language).

- Show your players that you believe in them by the way you act. When

everything goes awry, find a way to shift your team's focus to the next action.

- Remember that on game day, you are not much more than a spectator. You

do not get to shoot baskets or score touchdowns any more. Remind your

team that they have prepared for this moment, that they are capable of

performing, and that you love to watch them play.

- When you get the opportunity to speak with your players, understand that

everything you say will be remembered by someone on your team.

Sometimes it's easy to let the people around us keep us from being kind. People have a tendency to be quick to point out the negatives in others.

Let us be the person who changes the narrative. Look for the positives in the people around you. Find productive ways to help your players/students improve. Show them and tell them that you believe in them. Speak life into your people. Speak well of those who are not within earshot.

Those you lead will either live up or down to your expectation of them. Choose the words you say accordingly.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this week's newsletter. As mentioned before, I would love for this to be an interactive experience for each of us. Please share any comments, questions, or feedback that you may have. Also, if you know of anyone that would benefit from these emails, please send them this link to sign up.

Every Serve, Coach, Lead newsletter is available on my website, which can be found here. Feel free to share the website on social media to help reach more leaders!

If you would like to reread last week's newsletter, you can find it here.

Thank you for your support, and I look forward to connecting with you all next week.

God Bless!